The Parade

'Hello Boss. You heard about Mr Johnson? He was caught shagging his next door neighbour. At the bus stop. And she's 87. We've all done it.'

'It was awful. He had to have an enema. Just like that geezer in Iceland'

'Who? Bjorn?'

'No. Old Faithful'

'Hello boss. You know in Australia he was running for Mayor. His campaign was massive. He had an elephant. We've all done it'

'I've got to attend an ID parade'

'Do you reckon you'll pick him out?'

'I doubt it. It's so unfair. They'll all look the same'.

'I'm looking for something by an impressionist'

'Just like that or nice to see you to see you nice?'

'You might know him. He works for the police. Peter. The photographer.'

'Forensic?'

'I don't know his second name.'

'Excuse me. Would you like to buy this watch?'

'No sorry. I haven't got the time.'

'Bird flu? Of course the bird flu.....how d'ya think he gotta here in the first place?

'My God! I have never see one of these with my own eyes. It's absolutely priceless. Where did you get it from?'

'I burgled Buckingham Palace last night.'

'He follows them religiously. Goes every week. He's fanatical about them but it's only football for God's sake. He's even got a box.'

'Wow! Is he really rich then?'

'No. He stands on it. He's only 4'10.'